We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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