I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
