The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
