And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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