At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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