Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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