Do you still have your period?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
