He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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