Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
