fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
