My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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