oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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