So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
