I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
