Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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