i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
