i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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