note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is my gift to your gina
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
