So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
