come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
