I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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