Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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