yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize