if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
