I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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