so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
