Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
