im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
