I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
