guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
