addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize