I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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