That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
