I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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