I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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