I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im six kinds of drunk right now
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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