This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
