margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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