Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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