So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
