Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
