Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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