So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
