Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
