Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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