Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
