They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
