i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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