there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
