I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
