Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
