my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
