Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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