So drunk, too bad you don't want this
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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